it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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