I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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