If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
