so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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