You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize