atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize