He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
