I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
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At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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