I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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