just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
