If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
