it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
