after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
