I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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