Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize