dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
im six kinds of drunk right now
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize