Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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