So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
