I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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