your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
