We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize