i think my mom watched the whole time
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
