Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
