The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
