I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
