LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
