That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
