And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
