Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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