You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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