There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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