After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
