need another drink. this is the easiest way
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize