life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
