Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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