I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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