so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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