hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
