Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
