i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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