You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
