I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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