how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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