At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
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