You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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