I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
