In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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