Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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