Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
