I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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