"it" just moved
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Randomize
