Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
