I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
