just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
