I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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