The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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